This is a communication I received from my long-time friend Jimmy Fred Hudson of Caser, North Carolina.
Dear Kev,
Word has reached the Knob that our worst childhood fears have come to pass. Look what you "intellectuals" in the liberal media have caused now. Those godless Russian bastards have invaded Georgia. I always knew it was our weak point. Just Sherman's March backwards is all. Straight up the river from Savannah and before you know it they'll be playing Tchaikovsky instead of the Star-Spangled Banner at the Braves game. At least we won't lose many Americans in this battle of Atlanta and as far I know there haven't been any southerners there for years. I think me and Ricky and Billy and Donnie and Frankie and Pete (yeah, they let him out) are gonna ride down there to see if we can provide some assistance. We're all ready loaded for bear and the Preacher said we can go by the church and get some additional weaponry from the Charlton Heston (God rest his soul) Memorial gun cabinet so I may have the privilege of having my gun pried from my cold, dead hand. We were given almost unanimous approval by the Upper Cleveland County Homeland Security Association. Only Miss Edna voted against it, but she thinks we're going to Shelby to kill George's Russian Wolfhound, bless her heart. We're gonna stop by the Beacon on the way down and have one last chili-cheeseburger a-plenty (hopefully it won't kick-start Donnie's pacemaker this time) and if we do happen to retake Atlanta, I'll bring you back a Varsity hot dog and a frosted orange.
Your friend and protector of America,
Jimmy Fred Hudson
P.S. Earlene says hey.
P.S.S. Don't call Earlene while I'm gone.
Maybe I could stop this but I would hate to interfere with a bunch of bubbas hell-bent for a road trip. They'll have more fun comparing gas prices on the way to Atlanta than they would actually fighting the Russians.
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